Christ and I

Night Clubs, alcohol, style, fashion, women, pleasure, ahh~~~, a world full of temptation and sins. This are the stuffs which are categorized under the Kingdom of darkness. The Kingdom of darkness is where you will find sins committed by everyone of us living on earth. Lust, greed, fear, lies, abuse, death, selfishness and etc. Its pretty sad that i once lived and was in the Kingdom of darkness.

I was a Christian since the day i was born, because of my parents as a reasons. That is why, automatically i was called a "Christian". Just a name or religion though. For 20 years i do not even know what a Christian should do or act, even worst, i don't know the true meaning and motive of being one. Quite a shame isn't it. I don't think that i am the only one who behaves that way.

Before i was committed into Christianity, involving myself in church activities and knowing who is Jesus Christ, I really used to like the Kingdom of darkness a lot. Seriously. I love to fight while i was in secondary school, i go clubbing in college, had alcoholic drinks and had drugs. And i love to sin against God. I tell lies, was selfish, lazy, always in an intention to do bad things.

There was one time, i got caught in an accident. Man, i didn't even help the motorist up but instead i scolded him lots of foul words and was acting tough and childish. The other time was, i got so pissed with my dad and i screamed out lots of foul words at him and even wanted to beat him up for pissing me off. He was a Christian but had never behaved or acted like one. Anyway, thank God that i have forgiven him.

My life at home was terrible during my childhood days. None of you want to experience living in this kind of family. The only person i really cared about in my family was my mom and my sister. I won't be sharing all of my experience here because i don't think all of you who are reading this would like to imagine how my life at home was during my childhood times. I was really living in the Kingdom of darkness. Fear, but you are forced not to show to your enemies, Abuse, that you are just to treat it as a disciplinary case, lies, and etc.

While i was in Kindergarten, i grow up in a Sunday school near my house which was St.Faith Kindergarten church. At that time, what i knew was, when you are in need of help, you were to pray to the Lord for assistance or help. Although i didn't really pray much, but this really comes in handy when i am in need of it.

In primary 3, my mom was in a bad health condition because her heart valve was serious blocked and her valve was unable to pump enough blood to her brain. She was then admitted to a hospital for surgery. Although i didn't really know the seriousness of her case, i somehow felt very afraid that i was going to lose her. I was in fear for weeks. Then i prayed to the lord which was my kindergarten school teacher had taught me. I remembered that. For 3 yrs after kindergarten, that was the first time i had prayed to my heavenly father for Help. I prayed to him every night that he would protect my mom as he had protected me always. My mom's surgery was successful and her healing process was amazing.

But after that i forgot about God again. To me, life was just bitter. Everyday i go to school with a smile, but full of fears and sadness inside. No one knows what i have been going through at home besides my neighbors. I caught myself in lots of trouble and fight with people in order to get some physical pain in order to reduce the pain inside me. A flesh wound is nothing compared to the wound which is hurt inside. My secondary school passed by as if it was just something hardly to be remembered of and the people which you called them as your friends, are never really truly what they were defined in the dictionary.

In college, i started going clubs and was addicted to it. I went wild but not rampage. Clubbing was fun but its really empty. You walk in with an empty hands and come out empty too. Seems happy and high but actually, your wasting your time and hiding yourself from truth and light. Drugs and alcohol makes you dizzy and gets you a terrible headache. This is because i was looking for something to forget my pain and sadness inside me. I was terrible. Although i looked healthy, playing basketball every afternoon, but my spiritual health was terrible.

After i finished diploma, i went to KL to further my studies. As for me, i thought KL would be a good place to escape myself from my parents. Seriously, i don't even think about staying home. My sister left for a reason. But i still love my mom. I would never ever abandoned her until death parts us. I loved the night life in KL. I went clubbing with my friends and it was the same old me.

It was Christmas after a few days in KL, my friends called me up to a Club down KL city. But it ended up the place was too crowded so i canceled off going to the party down town. I was pretty lonely that time because i don't have much friends in KL yet. So i finally decide that i don't want to spend a lonely Christmas and in once in a blue moon, i called up a friend which i just knew when i first arrived KL. Guess what, i went to church which was GA611 bread of life. What a rare occasion for me to do that. Its a decision which i could say, as rare as a dodo bird would get extinct of.

When i arrived at that church, it was full of warmth and i felt hope is around. Always being negative, i pretended that it was just my imagination. People there were friendly and was caring as well. But i really felt the warmness inside me. I admit that the event was quite boring, but for that one instant and on that night, i felt peace. Peace was in me. Never had i felt anything like that before. For a person like me who keeps grudge, pain and problems inside me, it was like those stuffs are almost gone.

The next week, amazingly, i attended the Sunday service which i only attend once or twice in two years and i started going very often to that church. And i also end up attending the Saturday youth service. From the first day, i thought that the church's name was very lame because it was GA 611, bread of life. But it is really the bread of life to me. There, a new life started when i was told about more on Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit and the heavenly Father. Life was in me every time i went there and i was in Joy. I learn to share my problems with my heavenly Father and i felt my burdens are lighter than usual. I started to play music and listen to preaching but still i never read the bible. But one thing i was very sure that, i began to changed and turn over a new leaf. I was happy, light, hope, miracles and everything. I got myself baptized after a few months and in that very church, through brothers and sisters, i learned how to be a true Christian and to act like one. I love doing God's work now especially spreading the gospel because my Heavenly Father really guided me into his Kingdom of Light where you will always find peace, love, hope, miracles light and etc.

This testimony is dedicated for all to the people who are reading this. I know that some of you might have the same experience as i had and some might be worst, i have always wanted to help people out of the Kingdom of darkness but sometimes has failed. But i really really want you to know this person which i have met and who had hold my hands into the Kingdom of Light and this person is Jesus Christ who had never let me go loss from his hands even when i was lost in the Kingdom of darkness. For all of you who really needs help in healing your wounds deep inside you, i also understand how it feels like and i wish that you open up your heart and raise your hand for this very special person to hold your hands so that he can walk you into the Kingdom of Light.

And now, i really believe in God, cause God really knows what i am doing and had gone through everyday. When i'm tired and discouraged from fruitless effort, God knows how hard i have tried. When i've cried so long and my heart is in anguish, God has counted my tears. And when i feel that my life is on hold and time has passed me by, I know God is waiting for me.

What I see and experienced now convinces me that God exists; What I cannot see, confirms it.
Because, no eyes like mine has seen, no ears like mine has heard, no mind like mine has imagined, what God has prepared for the people who believes in him.

If after reading this and you really start to believe that God does exist, he has already gave you the right to become his children.